I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
In America we eat man semen.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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