I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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