They should really pass out barf bags in church
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
