How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
