Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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