Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize