i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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