Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
