even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize