I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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