He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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