Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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