i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
