her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
