I must be too annoying 4 u.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize