This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
