what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
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