The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
