p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
