your room smells of hookers.
And success
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
