he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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