She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
