I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
