Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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