I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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