I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
