then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
