We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
