9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
