You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
