Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
