So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
