it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
