that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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