We need to rekindle our bromance
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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