I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
