So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
