white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
