No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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