Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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