Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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