Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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