we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
