I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
