I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize