i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
