Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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