I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
