if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
