Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
