Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
