she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
not ubering you a puppy
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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