She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
