I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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