So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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