he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Randomize
