You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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