so explain again why im purple
no
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
why is half of my head shaved?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
