"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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